Fifty Shades of Crap

I finally gave in... after months of seeing women swooning all over social media about this Fifty Shades phenomenon, I decided to add it to my iPad reading list... actually, I added all 3 from the series. I like to read some good, mindless reading in the summer as I hang out by the pool or at the beach.

But to say this is mindless is an understatement. I am so embarrassed that these books are monopolizing the NYT best seller list. Man oh man, if some aliens are researching humanity and come across these books... we are doomed.

Now, don't get me wrong, erotica... romance novels... all those things have a place in literature. But the way I was watching people act as though they had never read anything quite so amazing is simply mind boggling. The writing is utterly atrocious. I found a great Amazon review where the reviewer counted with her Kindle how many times words were said. I mean, seriously, using the word whisper 185 times in ONE book??? (And imagine how many times she repeated the words over the whole series????)

I did make it through the first book. I am the type who feels the need to finish any book I start. I always think, "Well... what if... what if it has the best book ending ever???"

Well, needless to say, it did not! And then I moved on to book 2... thinking she clearly had to step up the writing to get a publisher to buy it.... Nope. Even worse.

And this time, I did not fall for it. I bailed not even half way though. I get precious few minutes for reading and I just could not justify wasting any more.

If you want to read an erotic novel, please... choose Lady Chatterley's Lover or Lolita. Something that may not make you feel less intelligent for reading it.

Unless, of course, you would like to read a book my 11-year-old could write with no plot, the same sex scenes over and over again, and the most ridiculous love interest ever (I mean, really... what woman sits around fantasizing about some gazillionaire jerk? I'd take my fantasy plumber ANY day!)