Friday, March 5, 2010

My Own Marriage Refs

Colby and I watched a portion of the Marriage Ref last night. We both love the concept of the show- but were disheartened after watching it and realizing that it won't last. The host was terrible and the format a little odd- but the idea of getting to be a voyeur into another couples ridiculous squabbles is still fascinating.

And, of course, this lead my wandering mind to the disagreements that Colby and I have in our house and how fantastic it would be to have them settled once and for all in front of a national audience (since we all know that, of course, I would reign victorious in any and all disputes) But WAIT...

I have a national audience! Right here! And how fun would it be for you to be our marriage ref? I am going to start posting some some of our minor squabbles in a fair and unbiased manner while trying to conceal which side each of us are on and see if we can get some votes on which of us is the superior right-fighter.

Episode One: Public Displays of Personal Grooming

We have had a long standing debate with this issue. One of us thinks that personal grooming should be kept in the bathrooms. This includes brushing and flossing teeth, shaving, mustache bleaching, etc. But the most cantankerous subject is the clipping of toe nails. This person feels that it should only be done in the bathroom and might just puke in their mouth a little over the sight of flying toenail bits while the other person feels they own half of the house and if they want to clip their toenails, they have the right to. And the revocation of this right makes their house a f@#*ing prison... on Planet BS in the galaxy of This Sucks Camel D!cks!

So, where do the Marriage Ref's stand on this issue?

I would love for others to join me with this. Post your disputes on your blog and then leave a link so that I can come put in my two cents... to be settled here... in our forum. Please tell me we are not the only people fighting over toenails.


  1. Gross. Toenails should be clipped in the bathroom...When I was working, our CEO used to clip his toes in his office. Right behind me. I could hear it, and it made me want to throw up.

  2. I'm split.

    Theorhetically, I think that most, if not all, grooming issues are bathroom things. This includes toe nails.
    Also, no matter how fancy your clippers, those flying bits are tough to contain. Body pieces generally should not be left around the house whenever avoidable.

    On the other hand, I have a nasty habit of picking at my nails when I am sleepless in bed, and they generally get left behind on the nightstand, or sometimes the floor (not in the bed though!).

    This refs conclusion: Toenails in the bathroom. Its not time consuming and, even if you don't see it as gross, its a simple enough concession to make.

    Also; your house is a lot like a prison... on planet bullsh*t .... in the galaxy of this sucks camel dong.

    Oh yeah, as long as I'm posting marathon replies.... I liked the show too, but didn't share your opinion that it wouldn't last. I thought the host was mildly funny. I think it might do well if they can keep a steady flow of A-Lists on the panel. My problem with it was the scripted recreations of the fights. Not sure what they could do about it, but I found myself picturing the cameras, the re-takes, the editing.... I'd almost rather just see them interviewed seperately with 60 seconds to make their argument.

  3. OMG - this show should have followed my husband and I around our first year of marriage... I don't know how he put up with me.

    I must say... I feel like you can clip your toe nails wherever you want to... just be sure NOT to leave the pieces all over the place because if you do then it will have to be a bathroom only activity.

    I brush my teeth ALL OVER the house.

    For me, it's not a big deal... I don't think that it is for Dana, but I'll check!

    By the way, I'm going to play along and post my own marriage ref scenario. I already have one picked out.

  4. My toenails are dainty and I am able to clip them silently and neatly into an adorable pile which can be picked up and put in the trash. I can clip them anywhere I please, in my own home.

    My husband, however, cannot clip his anywhere but in a self-contained hazmat tank that gets shipped to the moon upon his exit.

    I don't think I'm very good at this game!

  5. I think all grooming (except cutting baby nails because you have to be comfortable to hold squirmy babies and cut their nails) should take place in the bathroom...of your own home. It icks me out when people are brusing their teeth in the bathroom at work. I was just going to write a post about that!

  6. I think a lot depends on your home.. When 5 of us used one bathroom we did a lot of stuff in the bedroom. Now I have my own private bathroom and I can stay in there for hours doing whatever I want to do! And He does all his personal stuff in his private bathroom..

    Out of consideration, if watching the personal grooming offends one partner, the performing partner needs to be behind closed doors somewhere..

  7. I say keep all grooming in the bathroom, I think it is so gross when people brush their teeth in other rooms than the bathroom. Toe nail cutting, and nail filing should be kept in the bathroom as well, not anywhere else including a tattoo studio.

  8. i don't know how to respond. when i'm home alone i still bath in the kitchen sink. it makes me feel young again. i don't think my neighbors like it but they don't like it when i shave my body on the deck. some people are such prudes!