Monday, January 25, 2010

Gone, Baby, Gone

She's gone. That's the corner where her crib has been for the last year and a half; where the sun shined down on her during her afternoon nap; where she would wake up at the crack of dawn, jump up, look over at me and squeal, "Momma!" Where I would walk over in the dark every night before I went to bed and tuck her pink blankie under her chin, remove any books or toys and rub the side of her head to make sure she wasn't fevered.

Saturday night was my last chance to do that... before we moved her to her own room. I had been dreading this moment. I truly enjoyed having her close to me... hearing her every breath, every sigh.. even getting to hear her giggle in her sleep. Out of the 3 girls, she was the only one to ever share our room. We were truly lucky that they all slept through the night very early on so they went straight to cribs in nurseries with no bassinets or co-sleeping. Consequently, I enjoyed having her close. But we knew it couldn't last too long or she would really become accustomed to us being with her at night and a transition would be increasingly difficult (for her and I both.)

Saturday night was my last night listening to her breaths, her rustling, her murmuring. I don't know if I will remember the details years from now. We never remember the lasts. It's only the firsts that we etch into our memory, in our baby books, in our journals. But it is the lasts that I want to remember... the last time they smile at you with that gummy mouth before they get their first tooth... the last time they gaze up at you from your breast before they move on to their sippy cup or baby bottle... the final time they lay on your chest and fall asleep twirling your hair before they are just too big to fit into that nook on your chest.

It's the lasts I want to enjoy; to appreciate and relish as the moment passes. To know that it will never happen again and not to take it for granted.

Thankfully, there is a big guest bed in her room, so if I really feel the need, I can sneak a couple more last nights sleeping with her.


  1. I am all teary-eyed. I love this post...oh so true...need to cherish the time with them as they grow.

  2. Wonderful post. Very nice sentiments :) We didn't move Brooklyn out of our room until she was 14 months. And now...she spends more time in our bed than she did before, LOL. That's ok though, because I love cuddling with her....

  3. Tears in my eyes. gee... it is so hard to watch them grow. Brody got his hair trimmed over the weekend... at this point she had only been using scissors to cut his baby fine hair. This time, she used the clippers to trim the edges... tears were welling up in my eyes... to see my baby boy getting a "clippers" trim.

    Hang in there!

  4. Awww. I am in no rush to move Arielle out of our room, or bed for that matter. I know she is only 2 months, but it seems like it will come so fast! I love waking up to feed her and hearing her little grunts and sighs. :o) That was so sweet. I hope her transition to her new room oes smoothly!

  5. Hi , Oh what a bitter sweet time. i followed a ;link from twitter to see your daughter covered in Mod Podge. I like your blog, joined as a follower.

  6. What a sweet, sweet post! My heart hurt a little while reading this, in fact all us Moms probably felt a similar twinge. "Lasts" is most certainly a great way to put it- now if only I had a lockbox memory :)

    Oh, and thanks for signing on to my blog, I am happily following your New England adventures, as well!