Utterly Random John Tesh and Mini Blinds

So, I was listening to the John Tesh Show... what? He's cool. Ok, it wasn't on purpose. I was driving across the state the other night to hang with my wonderful girlfriend and have some scrumptious food, yummy beer and scintillating conversation when I decided to crank the Christmas music... you know, get in the mood. My thoughts were wandering, as happens when I am ever in a vehicle alone with my own head. When I snapped back to reality, I heard John Tesh's soothing voice telling my what was coming up next, "You won't believe how dozens of children die every year: the hidden dangers of mini blinds."

First- my thoughts went to Lora and her tampons- great. Thanks, Lora. (See #9.) Next I thought, "Hidden danger?" Surely this was a rebroadcast circa 1994. Is this really late breaking news? I am pretty sure I first heard these warnings when I was in high school. Who the hell still has these blinds? I am mean, really. You know you can't clean them adequately, they are most likely a hideous mauve or some sort of gross shade of Marlboro yellow from 20 years of cigarette smoke, they are completely tacky. Get rid of them already! I am feeling like the warnings are a bit outdated at this point. Akin to broadcasting a warning on children and lawn darts.

Window Blinds Kill Children- figure it out people!