Random Thoughts Roundup (and I'm Not Happy About It!)

I usually fill my posts with stories of my adorable babies, fun ideas, or beautiful photography. Today, I decided to pull a 180... I have some not-so-flowery stuff to discuss. So, if you are opposed to a little negativity and bitchiness, move along.

I somehow stumbled across a web show titled Mommy XXX. It is the titillating (ha, get it? TITillating???) story of a mom who happens to be a porn star. Demi Dalia is an adult entertainer who has brought her teenage children into her XXX world. I really have no problem with women in pornography, I believe everyone makes their path in life. However, do you really need to sell your kids out and advertise to millions of people that their mom gets it on for money??? Demi even comments that her children have been ostracized in their community... No way! Who would have seen that coming? I know reality television has desensitizes us to the concept of carrying on our lives in private, but can't we at least protect innocent children???

For you sports fans... I was listening to the radio yesterday and could not avoid the unending commentary on Big Papi and his shocking doping habits. One commentator in particular caught my attention as he condemned the MLB for overlooking these players dope use. He alluded to how the NFL commissioner did not stand for any sort of drug use with his players. Really??? The NFL has a long history of employing rapists, wife beaters and attempted murderers... oh yeah, and dirt bag animal torturers! But, hey, when it comes to human growth hormones... that is where they draw the line!

I have been inundated recently with horrible news stories out of Massachusetts. In the last few days a woman mutilated a young mother as she cut her baby from her belly and then another woman was found to have locked her young son in a crawlspace where temperatures reached 120 degrees. He was found naked covered in feces and vomit.

These stories make me literally sick, make me question humanity. I can not see a punishment that is harsh enough for either of these women. I am pretty much as pacifistic, anti-violent, peace-love-and happiness as they come. BUT, these women deserve to be put in a dark hole and tortured daily for eternity. They are the scum of the earth the know no human decency.



Really, what type of world am I raising my daughters in? I think I need to move to the top of a mountain and start my own commune... only sane people allowed... if I can find any!

Local Blogs in Northern New England

Here is a list of local blogs that I have found. Please contact me if you have one and want to be added.

A Dad's Life: The view of life from a father in Mass.
Abigail's Mommy: A money saving mom in Maine.
Blogged by (m): Great photos and a personal look into her life.
Domestic Lifestyle: NH Homeschooling mom.
Happily Average: Just your average American family located in Massachusetts.
Little Kite Girl: Interesting, but I can't describe her... just go see.
Little Princess Chronicles: A Mass. mom with... you guessed it... little princesses.
Living the Local Life: She has great tips on trying to eat and live locally for the health and enjoyment of her family on the seacoast of NH!
Miguelina: I guess she's like Madonna, just one name. A Boston momma.
MomEtAl: A Mass. mom.
Money Saving Maine-iac- I money saving mom in Maine.
Moomettes Magnificents: A Connecticut Mid-Life Baby-Boomer wife of over 35 years.
My Life on the East Coast:
My Life with the Crazies: A Massachusetts Mom.
My Messy Paradise: a coffee-addicted, stay at home mom to 2 girls, envious of moms who make it look effortless, lover of iPhones, pop culture and bad TV.
Our Life With 2 Crazy Kids: A stay at home mom from NH
Peek Into My Noggin: A dynamic mom of a little girl in NH.
Raising 4 Kids in NH: The name say it all.
Rantings of a Drama Queens Mum: A stay at home mom from NH
Seriously, No Seriously
Simply Mel's Blog: A Mass stay at home mom.
Steady Mom: She's a Connecticut mom on a journey to become an intentional, joyful, and professional mother to her three young children.
Suburban Mom: Notes from the Asylum: A Boston area writer, columnist and Red Sox fan, she tackles pop culture and politics.
The Sugar Mommy: Located in New Hampshire, she makes yummy treats.
Swaneesinger: A fun mom passionate about art, music, literature, singing, painting, dancing, performing, writing, decorating and family.
Take a Minute To Enjoy Life and All It's Beauty: A NH Mom's point of view.
Thoughts From an Evil Overlord: Hmmmm....
Trenholm Photography: Love his work.
Wicked Local Parents: Based in Needham, MA, they provide a variety of parent resources.
Wicked Cool Deals: Probably the best coupon mom in New England. Great deals from Shaws, Rite Aid, CVS and more.

My kid’s got inquiries and they want an honest reply...

This is an ongoing discussion in our household (as with many things)... What we will reveal to our girls about our pasts as they grow and begin to ask questions. Colby and I have 2 distinctive stances on the topic. He says lie and I say truth in small doses.

There is a song I have by Hamell on Trial that speaks to this topic (lyrics are at the end of this post). Whenever the song comes up on my ipod, I skip it as it is quite explicit. Which then prompts Ariana to say "Mom, why do you always skip that song? I wanna hear it." Which, in turn, jump starts my thought process on how I will discuss with her my 'sordid youth' when she starts to question.

As, any good parents, Colb and I discussed very early on what we wanted to reveal to the kids when they asked us about our past. Unfortunately, we have yet to come to common ground on the subject. I have already had to let Ariana in on some things that you don't necessarily want your 8 year old daughter to know since she is getting to the point of being inquisitive, nosy and being able to add 2 plus 2.

She was reading her journal recently (the one that I write for her). It starts with how Colby and I met. We met August 16, 1999. It goes on to describe our first date on September 9, 1999. And then on to her birth August 16, 2000. As she read this, she was doing the math out loud : "So you met in August of 1999 and I was born in August of 2000... and you had to be pregnant for 9 months... and then you weren't married until 2002? So obviously you weren't married when you had me? But you said a husband and wife have babies?"

"Well, the book we read said that, but really a man and woman can have a baby without being married, as long as they love eachother."

"But, if they love eachother when they have babies, why do parents get divorced or move apart?"

"Peoples love changes sometimes and they grow apart."

"Oh. Ok. But you told me that you would be in love for a long time before you had children... but if you only knew daddy a year before I was born AND you were pregnant for 9 months...?"

"Wait, I think I hear the ice cream truck outside..." (See, Lora, I did not steal your method of distraction, I have been employing since my kids were Jake's age.)

Also, recently, Ariana came across my Mexican girls getaway photos of myself and my friends topless (thankfully she is not a little boy as that might have much more traumatic.) "MOM! Your boobies are showing in front of all those people."

"Sweetie, there are other societies and cultures where it is ok for a woman not to wear a top on the beach just like it would be ok for a boy or little baby. That beach in Mexico was one of those places but it is not ok here in our area, we have to keep all our girlie parts covered."

"Oh, cool. I'd like to go to Mexico."

"Well, unfortunately, you can not get a passport to Mexico until you are 30."

See, truth in small doses. What do you reveal to your kids? Are you honest? 100% honest? Will they know about your shoplifting arrest, your bong hits in the basement, your fling with the chick from the Golden Banana??? Or are you going to lie to the bitter end (or at least until they are 'old enough' to know the truth.)


Inquiring Minds
You got a kid?
I got a kid.

Are you going to tell him the things you did?
Tell him the truth about your sordid youth?
If he wants to know, did you do blow?
Did you get high and listen to the stereo?

Pops, when’s the first time you did a drug crime?
I smoked my first jay on my eleventh birthday
And high school exams, how’d you stay up to read?
The kid across the street dealt in excellent speed

Were classes as boring as mine are today?
Most of the time I was tripping so I really can’t say

Now Dad, let’s see how truthful you are,
You ever high behind the wheel of a car?
Man I thought I was flying a 747
When I sold that car I think they scraped it for resin

And Dad, you courted Mom, how’d you make her your own?
We’d drink a lot of vodka and do methadone
So when he asks me about my past, and did I get high?
I’ve been seriously thinking about my reply

I’m going to lie
I'm going to lie
I’m going to lie
I’m going to lie
I’m going to lie
Dad did you ever do drugs?
No way!

Dad did you ever do it with any woman besides mom?
Did you ever see that Fellini movie Satyricon?
I was 13 the first time, so good I couldn’t speak
They should have wrapped me in a Hefty bag
and drained me once a week

And Dad what’s the kinkiest that you ever got?
There was a mother and daughter Upstate that were crazy stupid hot
There was this girl and her dog, but we won’t get into that
There were these three Dominatrixes in a one room flat
Couple times in a church pew, was a heavenly thing
And there was a girl named Ruth in the booth of a Burger King

My wife’s eatin’ a hole through me with her evil eye
My kid’s got inquiries and they want an honest reply

I’m going to lie
I’m going to lie
I’m going to lie
I’m going to lie
I’m going to lie
Dad, did you have premarital sex?
No way!

Now come the tough questions that he’s gonna ask
All prosecutors save the hard stuff for last
Dad, did you ever steal from the store when you didn’t have the bucks?
From what I remember, most of the stuff just fell off of trucks

And Dad, did you ever own a gun?
Yeah, but it wasn’t like I had a license for one
And Dad, did you ever steal an automobile for fun?
The owners wouldn’t want them when we got done

And Dad, I heard you bartended in a place that dealt crack!
Just making sure our clientele would come back
He wants the truth, I look him in the eye
I set a good example, I’m that kind of guy

I’m going to lie
I’m going to lie
I’m going to lie
I’m going to lie
I’m going to lie
Dad, did you ever do anything bad?
Fuck no!

Here She Grows

Please pardon my lack of photos recently. I am still IBook-less. Oh, poor me. I am so lost without my Mac, my Photoshop... technology: damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Ok, enough whining. I thought it was time for a CadyBeas'r update, she will be 1 oh so very soon. And, as this blog did start as a supplement to my childrens journals, I have neglected updates on them.

So, here goes.

Acadia has really started standing very well. It all started on vacation in early July. I think the beach helped her balance as she was able to maneuver her feet in the sand. Since we have returned home, she has been standing and taking itty bitty steps. No walking as of yet, but let's not rush things.

She also picked up saying 'buh-bye' with a frantic wave. And don't you dare not acknowledge her 'buh-bye' lest she screech even louder and throw her arm out of joint trying to get your attention. It is so freakin' cute, I just can not stand it. What can I do to stunt her growth and keep her at exactly this stage? Coffee, cigarettes???

She, just this morning, learned to open the toilet seat... shall we start a pool to see when Colby will have to take the toilet apart for the first time? I am saying August 13th. Any takers?
I also have moved her completely to milk. I have made no effort to wean her from her bottle though... I just cherish cradling her in my arms and looking down as she rubs my face (scratches me eyeball, puts her fingers in my nose, pinches my lips) I just need to hold on to every second of this baby I can. I cherish my babies... I despise watching them grow too fast... and it is all too fast!

Reliving My Childhood

One of my favorite NH Twitterers @cmajor posted a question yesterday about what toys were 'crack' for us when we were kids. (This stemmed from her daughters addiction to Littlest Pet Shop- you with little girls under the age of 10 surely know what these are.) But her question, of course, got my mind spinning about the toys I loved as a little girl...

First off, Cabbage Patch Kids. I remember a Polaroid photo I took of all my CBK's lined up on my bed. I also can envision a photo of myself, possibly around age 6 or 7 with my first CBK that I had gotten for my birthday. I was so elated.

Next were Care Bears- I also had a large assortment of those, Cheer Bear being my favorite.

Strawberry Shortcake was a favorite- I had everything from books to those sweet smelling dolls. I have great memories of playing with my brother and somehow incorporating my Strawberry Shortcake figurines with his GI Joes in some sort of intermingling of gender specific plastic doll playtime.

Although the Smurfs was a cartoon, I had a lot of the related novelties that came with their popularity. My favorite was a baby Smurf doll that spoke. I remember that it was so cute and super cuddly.

Now the irony of all these toys is that they have renewed popularity. These are toys from cough.. cough *20 years* ago cough... cough that are now cool again. And, of course, I jumped right on the band wagon and bought all of them for my girls as soon as they showed the slightest interest. Hey, what good are kids if you can't relive your youth through them??? Although, as Christine pointed out, the Care Bear videos (circa 1986) are no where near as cool as they were when I was 10. However, my 3 year old doesn't seem to mind- she seems oblivious to the insane animation and technology that she has available to her now with modern tv and movies. She also loves her Care Bears and Cabbage Patch Dolls regardless of their lack of power supply, memory chip or USB connectivity.

That makes me happy.

What toys do you remember from childhood? Have they come back around for your children? Do they still make you happy?

Crocs Be Gone

My prayers have been answered- Crocs shoes may be on their last legs. Ok, I never really prayed about Crocs going away, but it certainly makes me smirk a little.

Although, I am sure the endless generic copycats aren't going anywhere... damn it!

The Eternal Guilt of the Mom

This summer vacation has me thinking a lot more about an issue I have considered for years. It is the new trend of spending every waking moment entertaining your child(ren). Since my children are not in any sort of daycare, they are with one of their parents 24 hours per day. We don't even have family close by, so they are literally with us ALL OF THE TIME. Now, I am pretty good about doing stuff with my kids a lot of the time. (See my post of our 60 summer adventures here.) I take them hiking, to the pool, the park, for bike rides, to theaters... I think my girls are blessed to experience a lot of fun activities. My issue comes in down time. The second I am not actively entertaining them, they are giving me a guilt trip as though I am neglecting them. "Mommy, play with me. I am bored. Push me on the swing. Take me to the park." I feel as though it is my job to actively entertain them every second of everyday. And I am not talking about providing them entertainment, I mean being physically connected to them and amusing them. My children are provided a lot of things to entertain themselves: a huge play structure, 2 jeeps, a zip line, 2 slip n slides, a bounce house, 5 sprinklers, crafts, a playroom and 2 bedrooms overflowing with toys, etc. But if I just turn the sprinkler on and do not run through it for an hour, I am somehow less of a mom.

I think back to my childhood and parents were no where near as involved as they are today. As I tell my kids, we would eat breakfast, go out and play until lunch, come in and eat lunch, head back out and play until dinner and then after dinner play outside until dark. And my mom was not holding my hand the whole time.

While I enjoy the time when I am playing with the girls, I also want them to learn independence and to be able to stand alone and amuse themselves. Am I being selfish? Should I expect to be their constant playmate?

Clean Plate Club

I used to be part of an online forum for moms in my area. We discussed all sorts of interesting topics and offered each other advice on many things. One question that really sticks with me came from a mother of 3. She wanted advice on how to get her children to eat what she prepared. She was making 4 different dinners per night; one for her and her husband and a different one for each child. 4 meals per night! She was spending hours preparing just dinner. I was really taken aback at the question since it seemed so simple... make one meal and everyone eats it. What is hard about that. That is what happened when I was a child (& I would guess was the case when most of us were children) and that is what happens in my house now. We are the parents, why the hell would we give the child the authority to decide what we prepare them to eat? I probably sounded rude to the woman, but this is exactly what I told her. You make one meal and they eat that meal. If they won't eat it, then they will go without. A child will never starve, they will eventually eat something that you give them.

Don't get me wrong, I understand that people have aversions to some foods (I hate peas) but as long as you have at least a couple of courses, they will have something to eat. I also will alter what I serve slightly if the child asks nicely. For instance, my kids like alfredo sauce on pasta and I like red sauce, so I will serve both. I will also get my kids involved in the choices for dinner. I will give one child a choice of what I make for dinner (Should I make pasta or chicken Caesar wraps?) so they feel like the had an option. And notice I said '1 child'. I would never involve more than 1 child since it would just turn into 1 long argument.

I feel that is you acquiesce to your child's ridiculous eating habits, you are just setting them up for issues in the future. Put on your big girl pants and take charge.

Wordless Wednesday Vacation Edition

Random Thoughts Roundup for Friday

• I just read that the Farmer's Almanac calls for rain ALL summer. I am so glad that I do not have seasonal depression or this could be the death of me.

• If you ever have the chance, please go visit Reid State Park beach and Popham beach in Maine. When we live in a certain area, we really become complacent about the activities and scenery, but it is nice to return home after being gone and recognize the beauty you might have otherwise overlooked.

• I have renewed love for my in-laws after spending 7 rainy days on vacation with them. They are truly saints and deserve the Nana and Papa of the year award.

• I am very excited to start hiking regularly again. I took a couple of years off due to pregnancies and small babies, but now I am ready to get back into it. It is such a perfect hobby, it is relaxing, fun, energizing, exhilarating and provides a perfect time for quiet thoughts.

• I think I am going to grow my hair out.

• I am very excited to be wearing my summer wardrobe. That is one of my biggest pet peeves of winter. It feels so restricting when you are always in jeans and sweaters. Now it is tank tops and bare feet.

• I had a dream about Tina Fey the other night.

• My 7 year anniversary was last week. 9/9/09 will be the 10 year anniversary of our first date which was 9/9/99 at the 99 restaurant.

• My 'bad' cat has been missing for a few weeks now. She made it about 6 weeks last summer.

Swinging

Man, getting back into the swing of things is not easy after being on vacation for 9 days! I have been uploading all my vacation photos to share with my friends and family, updating my photoblog, my urbanity blog, my Wednesday Spaghetti blog, entertaining all 3 girls without the option of sending them outside to play (damn you, rain), weeding my poor vegetable garden, cleaning my house... wow, is this exciting reading yet? Ah the wonderful life of a momma.