Holding on

I am falling behind on blogging (both photo and here) as I am just trying to sustain at this point. Who knew being 9 months pregnant with 2 children already would be so hard. Much to my dismay, no matter how exhausted I feel, they still need to eat, bathe, play, go to dance... etc. The world can't pause while I am waiting to deliver??? Damn it! I thought for sure last night was the night, I had so many cramps in my back & belly... but no luck. And then I was awake for the rest of the night stressed about the stuff that wasn't ready. I realized that all of my clothes that actually fit me were in the washer wet! I seriously contemplated asking Colby to get up and put them in the dryer... I couldn't go to the hospital with no clothes... But then I thought better of it & let him sleep. I also realized that I couldn't find the baby tub or my Boppy, so I need to buy those before she gets here.

I had a doctors appointment yesterday. All was well, I am still 1 cm dilated and my cervix is thinned & ready. My belly is still measuring about 1 month behind, but my weight gain is ok, I am betting she will be over 7 pounds (hopefully not too much over!)

Thursday is Ariana's national dance competition... Colby will have to take her since it is down in Lowell, Mass. I can't wait to see what he thinks about living a day of my life. Although, he will get out of it pretty easily since I will get her ready before she leaves and then the other moms will take care of her once she gets there since he can not go into the dressing area. However, he will get to hang out for 6 or 7 hours at a dance competition with an antsy 7 year old!!! HAHAHAH

Annika Movin' & Groovin' Photo

Here is the photo proof of Annika's first dance class. Hard to believe she is only 2!!!

Tarnation

I watched another intriguing documentary over the past few days. It was an odd mix of home movies on acid called Tarnation. I started watching it alone one night in my dark bedroom and had to shut it off because it was too creepy. I really can't recommend it to many people as it was pretty slow & the video was edited with IMovie, that is to say it is not for a wide audience. With that said, it was very well told & I am glad to have seen it. It tells a very dismal story of a mentally ill woman who became ill after shock treatment many years ago. It has a sad story that just gets sadder as it goes with no happy ending. Now I am left here after watching it feeling a little melancholy but, again, thankful for what I have.

Annika Movin' & Groovin'

Tonight Colb & I took Annika to her first dance class. At 2 years old, she is slightly young, but Ariana's dance teacher wanted us to try... so we did. When the class first started, they practiced some basic tap steps in front of the big mirror. The dance teacher and a couple of helpers do the the simple steps in front of the class and then the children repeat. Annika stood completely motionless as Colby & I stared in wonder at what she was doing. If we were at home she'd be mimicking Ariana at every step. What was she doing?

We caught her eye and she came running over to us. Colb said something to the effect of "Sweetie, you need to follow the teachers steps & dance like the other kids."

She leaned in and whispered, "But, Dad, there's no music playing."

Well, of course, at our house we always dance to music and to a 2 year old it must seem silly to just stand there doing dance steps without the music!

So freakin' cute!!!!!

Simple

Photo by Ariana.

Weird Al

Ariana went to her first concert with her dad last night... well if you don't count the Wiggles and Care Bears! She & Colb went to see Weird Al Yankovic.

She had a great time even after trying to back out on the way there: "It will be too loud.." They didn't get home until midnight and she slept until 11am this morning! She has never slept past 8 or 9. She was running around the house singing "Eat It" today... too funny!

She also put up her first poster on her bedroom wall today (there goes my tastefully decorated little girl's room!). It was Miley Cyrus, of course. In no time, she will be acquiring Teen Beat & cutting out collages of pictures to cover her walls. Good thing New Kids on the Block has come back around again!

Come On Bush

As I was working on TripAdvisor today, the Presidents address was on in the background. I rarely watch his addresses or listen to him speak as it embarrasses me to have him as our president.

Anyhow, I heard clips of him as I worked. And one line made me stop in my tracks in awe! A reporter asked him when the economy was going to turn around. He abruptly cut her off, obviously annoyed at that question because he gets it every day. "Look , I am not an economist, I cannot answer that." Huh???? You are not an economist? Surely, as the leader of the free world, you can afford yourself some time with an accomplished economist (or maybe two) to guide you. Holy cow, if we had known all along that all we needed to do to have a successful economy was vote in an economist. What a moronic answer!

Aging

I had a conversation with a good friend of mine whom I went to Mexico with 2 years ago. We were lamenting how our age is catching up with us and our new need to avoid the sun & all it's destruction! The hot Mexico sun seemed to hit us both... I have had age spots on my chest ever since and the skin on my face just seems to have lost it's youthful glow. She simply hides from the sun, but with my kids, I don't have that option. So, I have resorted to 70 SPF sunscreen... no exaggeration! Thank goodness I have never been a smoker, I can't even imagine how my face would be affected by this point! I am trying really hard to instill a sense of responsibility in my girls with regards to the sun. It is so hard when they are so carefree and with my complexion they don't really burn, so it is hard for them to realize that there are negative affects even from day 1. Ariana was at a friends house all day yesterday in the pool... when I asked her over dinner if she had applied sunblock all day, she replied "No."!!! Ahhhhh, that was around 6 hours of direct sunlight! We'll keep working on it though.

In a conversation with another friend, we were saddened about the age we are feeling in our bodies. We were discussing our husbands hiking 4000' mountains and how it would be hard for us. It was only a few years ago that I could hike 5200' Mt. Katahdin without flinching! And although everybody assumes that because I don't weigh a lot, I am healthy... that is far from the truth. I am in the worst shape I have ever been. Life is so different with children, it gets so hectic & it is so much harder to fit in time for myself to exercise. This pregnancy has showed me how my age is catching up to me. When I was pregnant with Ariana at age 23, it was so much easier, I worked out until 7 months and just seemed to be able to stay active. Now, at age 32, I feel so tired, I look at my stairs with dread every time I have to walk up them! And when I take the girls for a bike ride, I am tired after a few hundred yards. And to think I lead a fairly healthy lifestyle. I don't smoke, I don't drink heavily, I eat fairly healthy. I cannot even imagine people who are overweight, smoke, eat fast food, etc... they must feel like ass all the time.

I am definitely going to work on this issue as soon as Acadia gets here. I will not let myself feel like I am twice my age... I want to be vital & active for all my my girls & set a good example.

Jesus Christ!

I am fuming right now so I thought I would share...

On my photoblog today is a photo that I love of a ring posed on a book casting a heart shadow. I actually took this picture months ago and it was a posed picture. I had grabbed a book off my shelf to set up the shot. I do not even know now which book it is.

Anyhow, some crazy lady posted a note on my photoblog:
"...However, I don't appreciate the comment you featured on the right - our Lord's name used in vain." And by 'featured', she means that the book contains the text "for Christ's sake". (Oops, I have 'featured' it again.) I guess I shall be struck by lightning now... having this book somewhere in my house that has those sacreligious words in it. This is exactly why I take issue with organized religion & the people who 'follow' it. This lady had the time to be looking through the 459 images posted today on Aminus3 to find that miniscule text to take offense to??? Oh, I am sure she is some sort of Mother Theresa who has the right to cast stones, but cast them at somebody a little closer to home & leave me out of it. Art is art, and if something so silly is going to cause her discord by even seeing it, possibly being on a photoblog that isn't a faith-based photoblog is not the right place for her.

It reminded me of these videos I had watched a while back on YouTube that featured 'Christ Followers' versus Christians. I know nothing of Christ Followers, but the videos were a hilarious depiction of how hypocritical some religious people can be. If you have time, you should watch a couple of the videos... quite amusing.

Ok, I have vented.....

DIY Part One

In an attempt to utilize all the furniture we have hanging around (& to get our shed cleaned out) I have been trying my hand at some new paint techniques. I redid this little table to put at the end of our hall. I wanted it to have an antiqued finish. I started with a nice seafoam, calming blue paint. Ariana loved the table after that color was applied. Then, much to her dismay, I went over it with a brown stain to try to achieve the antique look. She could not understand why I was making it look 'dirty'. She does not like the completed piece at all and thinks I simply ruined it! I know from a 7 year old point of view, it must seem to be so silly to try to make something look old. But I actually like how it turned out....

Netflix Part Deux

Another show I enjoy to watch instantly on Netflix is Penn & Teller's Bullshit. They take on topics & try to prove/disprove popular opinions on them. Things such as bottled water, abstinence, the death penalty, etc... The most recent issue that I watched was about Wal-Mart. They were actually trying to prove that Wal-Mart was ok. They made some valid points that I couldn't really disagree with. I worked at Wal-mart when I was in high school & never took much issue with them. They paid an ok wage for our area (quite rural) I had a stock purchase plan (pretty profitable) and could work whatever shift that worked for me (night so that I could spend the days at the beach).

However, I wouldn't shop there today if you paid me. I despise that store. The second I pull into the parking lot, anxiety rushes over me. There always seem to be stray kids running in front of my car & very impatient people determined to fight over the nearest parking spot. As soon as I enter the store, I just get a vibe that brings me down. One day, as I was returning a gift I had received, a girl approached the service desk with her toddler. She asked to use the phone as her son had shut the car door with her keys,cell phone and purse locked inside. The employee told her there was a pay phone near layaway. The girl repeated that her purse had been locked in the car. Then employee stated that she could not use the phone due to company policy. As I handed the girl my cell phone, it reiterated to me why I so disliked this place so much. I am a big proponent of customer service & kindness in general, and I never find this when I walk through those big sliding doors. It is hard for working families to turn away from Wal-Mart because they consistently have the lowest prices on everything, but I will bite the bullet & find other ways to save money just to not put myself through the stress of shopping at a cold, heartless store.

The Business of Being Born

After the cancellation of cable, we have been watching more Netflix media (either via DVD or instantly online). I have watched a lot of documentaries recently. One that I learned a lot from was "The Business of Being Born". It was full of a bunch of interesting facts about birth in our country that I really never stopped to think about. It is very biased towards the use of midwives, but I think that you will find that any person who is taking the time & initiative to compose a documentary is doing so to get their own agenda across. With that said, I recommend it to anyone having a baby, as it is quite interesting & will make you think....

Transverse No Longer

I had my Dr.'s appointment... she put her head back down... hopefully to stay. I have lost a couple of pounds and I am dilated enough so the Doctor could feel her head! Yay!!!! Not much longer now. I am really getting anxious to meet her and for the girls to meet her.

I am going to try to take the girls to the pool as long as there is no rain. I read in the paper yesterday that we have had 17 days of rain out of the last 20! I hope this slows soon, I really need to get my deck weatherized, which requires 48 hours of dry weather.

I Am A Mommy, Through and Through

We are back from our vacation and we had a wonderful time. It was just so foreign to us to be so free with no agenda, no chores, no honey-do lists. The ultimate part of the whole vacation was watching the girls playing endlessly. This was our first family vacation and it is not often that we can all be so carefree. It is a side of my girls that I do not often get to see. Usually we are doing homework, practicing piano, running from dance class to softball practice.

We only brought them limited toys... 3 plastic pails, softball & gloves, a fishing pole, football & soccer ball, and some noodles. You'd think they would have bored early on, but they really didn't need anything more than the lake and the bullfrog pond behind the camp. No matter what time of day, 7am or 6pm, you could hear the squeals of 2 very happy little girls running around; oblivious to time, poor weather or anything except each other.

After 6 days all together, we dropped the girls off with our friends and family so that we could enjoy our anniversary alone. Colby & I arrived back at the camp Friday evening. It was quiet and calm. I went to the dock & looked at the bright buckets & remnants of my girls digging in the sand. Tears came to my eyes as I suddenly missed they laughter & the jubilant air.

Don't get me wrong, I am not the type of mom who always has to have her children around. As a matter of fact, I am a big proponent of moms keeping their independence & teaching their daughters that a woman can be a mom and a dynamic, outgoing person also. Just ask Tabatha and Isolde, when we spent a week in Mexico, there were certainly no tears shed!

But there are times in life where you just thoroughly enjoy things more when your children are present. It sounds cliche, but nothing touches your heart more than the smile of your child or the sound of her innocent giggle.